When you’re set up with someone through a professional matchmaking service, it can feel a lot like a blind date. Especially if you’re doing internet dating. Getting to know someone virtually just isn’t the same as face-to-face. But that doesn’t mean it has to be bad. To make dating go better when you’re going through a professional matchmaking service, there are several fairly simple things you can do. And remember, you’re trying to get to know people, so try to be friendly.

Making Dates Set Up By a Professional Matchmaking Service Go Better

First dates are scary. Especially when you’re going out with someone you don’t know. With a blind date, you don’t usually know anything about the guy or gal you’re heading out with. It can be uncomfortable and it has a bad rep. Because of that, dates made through professional matchmaking services tend to seem weird, too.  But they don’t have to be. There are four easy ways to make dates arranged by professional matchmaking services go smoothly:

1-      Set up an escape plan with a friend.

Most women have signals or words that mean something when they’re hanging out with their girlfriends. It can mean, “You’re hanging out, there” or “Ooh, I want HIM” or “We need out.” And when you’re going on a date set up by a professional matchmaking service, or a blind date, that same type of thing is smart to have. Today, when almost everyone is on their cell phones almost all of the time. So, set up a keyword or a pre-arranged text with a friend to let that person know how it’s going – and if you need rescued.

2-      Choose the best matchmaker for you.

There are dozens of matchmaking services out there. Some pair people who are looking for someone who shares a specific certain interest. Others are just there to pair people they think will be best together. If you’re signing up with a professional matchmaking service in person, check it out and get to know the matchmaker. Just like the matchmaker needs to be willing to accept you as a client, you need to be willing to become one. If you’re checking out online professional matchmaking services, then you can look around the website and see what you think of the site and find out what other people have to say. If you’re comfortable with the service, it’s likely you’ll be more comfortable with them.

3-      Tell your matchmaker  (and your date) your relationship expectations

If you know what you want out of the relationship, you should tell your matchmaker before you go on a date. That will make the likelihood of a professional matchmaking service setting you up with someone you like better. And you and your date will know before you get too far whether or not it’s going to work.

4-      Make sure your date wants what you want.

5-      Especially in terms of a relationship. If you are dating someone who wants to get married when you just want to have good sex, you’re not going to have a good relationship. Most professional matchmaking services set people up with others who have similar relationship goals, but it’s not 100 percent effective. The best way to be sure is to talk to the other individual and be straightforward, right from the get go.

When you’re dating through a professional matchmaking service, it can be hard to get started. Matchmaking services can have a kind of bad rep because people feel silly using them and because it doesn’t always work out. But what relationship does? The best thing you can do is give it a chance, after you do as much fielding as possible – without going overboard.

Tagged with:

Clearly, after a divorce, successful dating is difficult. You don’t trust the opposite sex. You might not want a relationship. You might not think your failed relationship is your fault – even if you know otherwise. So, how do you get past this to enjoy successful dating? Well, it ain’t easy. But it’s also not impossible.

Ways Divorce Hurts the People Involved

Most people, after a divorce, have been hurt by the opposite sex and don’t want to date. The exception is when the relationship ended because of adultery – and you were the one who cheated. In which case, not only have you probably put the trust issues on hold, but you’re probably already dating someone else. That’s a whole other realm as far as successful dating problems are considered. But you can bet the other person is hurt. Probably heartbroken, wondering what they did wrong and why they’re partner doesn’t want them anymore.

In short, divorce makes people:

All of these doubts create insecurities that put you in no state fit to be dating. And yet, well-meaning friends try to set you up and make you feel better. But nothing helps. Even if you go on a date, they’re often complete messes and you don’t even know what to do make successful dating happen again.

Successful Dating After Divorce

Successful dating after divorce takes time. Time is the ultimate requirement, because without it, your heart and your head will never have a chance to heal. But other things need to happen, too.

1-      Stop hating the opposite sex: Unless you’re homosexual, you need to be able to date people of the opposite sex. Yet, after a divorce, you often hate them. Clearly, this is a step in the wrong direction for successful dating. How do you get past this? Remind yourself that not all men or women are like your ex. For some, finding people of the opposite sex who are friends or coworkers helps put things in perspective, too.

2-      Meet new people: Whether it’s true or not, after they’re divorced, people feel no one wants to be with them. To get past that belief, it’s important to go places to meet people, to develop friends and eventually, people you might want to date.

3-      Spend time with friends: It might not seem like spending time with friends can be a stop towards successful dating, but friends can be an excellent support network. They can get you back on  your feet and help you work through the hard times

4-      Find confidence: Simple things can help you gain confidence in yourself and realize that you’re a desirable person. Even if it’s just finding a new job or tackling a project you never thought you’d finish.

Successful dating after a divorce is hard for many people because divorce tears people up. It plays with their hearts and their minds and leaves them feeling abandoned. No one ever thinks they’ll end up divorced when they should be getting their happily ever after. But just because it’s hard doesn’t mean that successful dating is impossible. You can get past the painful memories and find joy again.

Tagged with:

How have your matchmaking efforts been going in regard to getting that second date?  Maneuvering through the dating seeking world is not always easy and if you don’t have the proper dating matchmaking skills, you won’t be successful.  You may have success in meeting prospective singles; however, how is your retention of those prospects?  Are you having success in getting those second and third dates with these prospects or are you always fumbling along and not getting further that that first date?

Men and women are very different creatures and need to figure out those differences during their matchmaking efforts in order to have success in getting that second date.  In the past, men have been the chasers and the women, the ones who got chased; this still comes today, even though there are many “liberated” women.  Men need to be respected and encouraged and have their physical needs met; those are their top three needs for health and well being.  Women, on the other hand, need to feel loved and cherished, to have emotional and physical stability and to have someone who listens to them.  If these needs are not met for either party, there will not be the emotional health and well being that we all need.

Even though women are “liberated” these days, it is very important for the women to allow the men to have a sense of conquering by doing the asking out on a second and third date.  During the initial dating seeking stage and through your matchmaking efforts, it is very important for the ladies to understand this inherent need for the men.  The men need to feel that they are pursuing the women.  Most women do like to be pursued by the men that they are dating.  By pursuing, that means to romance the women and trying to gain their favor; by all means, it does not mean to behave obnoxiously in any sort of physical force.

Since women have as one of their top three needs, to have someone to listen to them, it is very important for the men, during their matchmaking efforts to pay attention to their dates in order to get that second date.  Don’t spend time regaling her with all of your amazing qualities, even if you are very amazing.  Show, don’t tell.  In your matchmaking efforts, you need to show her that you are very interested in her by your actions and great matchmaking techniques; don’t just tell her that you care.  Show her that you are interested in getting to know her by listening to her talk about herself and not staring at other women.

In order to get that second and third date, men continue with your matchmaking efforts and pay for this date and then the second and third date and so on.  Women do not like to be with men that do not take care of them.  Of course, once you enter into a committed dating relationship with this person, you both can work together to pay for your dating activities, but this is something that should only come once you are in a committed dating relationship.  Your matchmaking skills are very essential in getting that second date and having success in your dating seeking relationships.

Tagged with:

One of the biggest myths of our time is that living together leads to successful dating and marriage relationships. Nothing can be further from the truth. When you’re dating women, it can be tempting to test it out and see if it will work. However, there are some very solid reasons that you shouldn’t.
Couples Who Live Together Don’t Usually Marry
Out of every 100 couples that live together with the intention of getting married, only half of them do. Some of them break up before they even get a chance to get married, and others decide to not get married and just live together. When you’re dating women, this in and of itself can lead to problems. Most women want to eventually get married. Not all of them, but most. If you’re dating women, it can make sense to live with the woman you want to marry:
• See if you’re really compatible
• See how it feels to live with the person you love
• See if you can solve problems
• See if you like one another when you’re with one another every day.
Couples Who Live Together Are More Likely to Divorce
When the divorce rate in our society, in all circles is already so high, it seems ridiculous that anything can make it higher, but it can. When you’re dating women you live with and then marry them, there’s a 75 percent higher chance that you’ll divorce than couples who get married without first living together.
It sounds crazy, but there are lots of reasons for it. When you’re dating women, you typically are learning how to interact with one another and solve problems. You’re trying to figure out how to make one another happy and keep one another satisfied. Throw living together into the mix and you have a whole new set of problems:
• You develop patterns of fighting that don’t lead to a healthy relationship and are hard to kick later.
• You don’t have a commitment that is worth fighting for, so you don’t.
• You complain to the people you live with because they’re comfortable. When that’s the person you’re dating, it causes friction in your relationship because you don’t have anywhere else to go.
So, of the original 100 couples, 50 are left. Of those, after they get married, only 12 are. The other 38 couples typically divorce within the first 5 years of marriage.
What Changes The Numbers?
There are some factors that change those numbers. For instance, if you’re dating women who are okay with living with you for at least three years before getting married, then the likelihood of your marriage lasting jumps back up to 50 percent.
When you’re dating women and living together, it does nothing to benefit your relationship. You might say that if you can’t last it for a few months, you’ll never make it. But that’s not necessarily true. Marriage is a commitment, while living together is just a test. And it’s not the kind of test most couples pass. To make matters worse, when you’re dating women and living with them, the arguments and the problems don’t only lead to future problems for that relationship, but others, as well.

Tagged with:

Ladies, do you increasingly wonder if men ever mature or if they stay immature their entire lives?  Are you looking to be in a mature dating relationship but it just doesn’t seem like your guy will ever grow up?  Is there hope?

Men and women are very different creatures and that is something that we all need to understand if any of us are going to be involved in mature dating relationships.  Men have different needs than women; they think differently; they behave differently and oftentimes we are so foreign to each other.  So how do we learn to get along?  Is it possible to coexist and be in a healthy mature dating relationship?  Webster’s Dictionary tells us that to coexist is “to live together peacefully, despite differences.”  That is the true meaning of a mature dating relationship; you both accept and try to understand each other’s differences and still care about each other unconditionally.

Generally speaking, women do mature physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally faster than men do; of course there are exceptions to every rule, even in this case.  But generally speaking, let’s continue on assuming this fact is true.  Women have a good sense of the barometer of relationships and accurately read whether or not you are in a mature dating relationship.  Sometimes when women sense problems in the relationship, they don’t always handle it the correct way and they want to talk it out with their man or even stoop to nagging him.  That’s just because women, for the most part, like to be at peace in their relationships and don’t feel right if there is distance between you.

Men, on the other hand, are quite alright with holding off on the talking it over conversation and they’d rather just wait until things cool off and maybe their women will even forget about the problem.  It’s not always a bad thing to wait to discuss issues until you both cool off, but never discussing the issues and sweeping them under the carpet is not healthy and does not produce a mature dating relationship either.  Women do speak more words per day than men do and they have more of a penchant for talking than men do so that’s one reason they like to have long, drawn out discussions.  Now, of course, there are exceptions and some women’s personalities lean more toward the way men think and act and that’s normal for them.  But as a general rule, the above-mentioned scenario is pretty close to accurate for all men and women.

Tagged with:
preload preload preload